Will I Ever Forgive Myself?

“WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION”

We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. – ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59.

I could not manage my life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My “ultimate sin” dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered entirely to God.

Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a freedom I have never before experienced. I have opened my heart and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know, a humbling fact, but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding existence.

Just for today, I strive to live His will for me, soberly.

I thank God that today I can choose not to drink.

Today, life is beautiful! – A.A. Daily Reflections, September 8.