Category Archives: Reflection

A.A., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Happiness

Happiness Comes Quietly.

“The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demand that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it, by the alcohol route. And we are not successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual rules, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. … There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.” – DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308.

The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness is not something I can “demand.” It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness. – Daily Reflections. © 1990. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

Seeking Happiness
Seeking Happiness

You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Psalm 128:2.

Happiness is Fulfillment, this is an overflowing and differs from trying to fill a void. Pastor Michael.

Happiness
NEEDTOBREATHE

I got a homesick heart but a long ways left to go
I’ve been doing my part but I ain’t got much to show
So I’m asking you to show me some forgiveness
It’s all for you in my pursuit of happiness
Chasing that life, moving on cause I had to prove
There ain’t no life worth doing what I did to you
So I’m asking you to show me some forgiveness,
It’s all for you in my pursuit of happiness.

A.A., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Powerless

Powerless
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. – TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21.

Empowerment
Empowerment

It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness: An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I have learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over what people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or do not work) the Steps. But I have also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responsibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live. – Daily Reflections. © 1990. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 1 Recovery Prayer
Dear Lord,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand
The true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction. Amen.

“I am so grateful the holidays are over and behind me.” Anon.
“Alcoholism is a Progressive Fatal Disease for which the Cure is to Stop Drinking.” Shirley.

Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen. – Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971).

The Story of twin brothers and their boxing careers.
Powerless – Rudimental

You held it all and I was by your side, powerless. I watched you fall … It’s really a sad story … .

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Rom. 7:18.

Finding Freedom from Guilt through the Blood of Christ.

Just as I Am
Travis Cottrell

I come broken to be mended
I come wounded to be healed
I come desperate to be rescued
I come empty to be filled
I come guilty to be pardoned
By the blood of Christ the Lamb
And I’m welcomed with open arms
Praise God, just as I am.

Admitting powerlessness is absolutely essential to breaking the addiction cycle, which is made up of five points:

– Pain
– Reaching out to an addictive agent, such as work, food, sex, alcohol, or dependent relationships to salve our pain
– Temporary anesthesia
– Negative consequences
– Shame and guilt, which result in more pain or low self-esteem.

Understanding the addiction cycle is important because it helps explain why the admission of powerlessness is the first step to recovery. Otherwise, we remain caught. If we rely on willpower alone, then the only thing we know to do is to escalate our addiction to get out of the pain. Step 1 calls us to do less – to yield, to surrender, to let go. – Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 22-23.

 

Hurts Habits Hangups™, Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Nine Signs

Nine Signs You are in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Similar to other types of abuse, emotional abusers tend to inflict harm over time. It can be easy to fall for an emotional abuser because, instead of being abusive right away, they will often present their most charming selves, then gradually become more abusive once trust has been built. Psychologist Leanne Donoghue-Tamplin tells The Cheat Sheet this process is referred to as grooming. – Cheat Sheet.

 

Know Eight Before Too Late
Know Eight Before Too Late

 

1. You Feel Bad about Yourself.
A loving, supportive relationship should make you feel good about yourself.

2. Your Partner Says Hurtful Things.
People who use words to wound may resort to outright verbal attacks.

3. Your Partner Lies Frequently.
Lying becomes second nature to emotional abusers. Their main concern is getting their way and staying in control.

4. Your Partner Controls the Relationship.
As the relationship progresses, you will feel like you have no say in what goes on (most likely because you do not). Your opinions are ignored or ridiculed. When it is time to make a major decision, you are not included.

5. Your Partner Screams at You.
An emotional abuser may try to assert authority through screaming. This is one of the ways he or she attempts to assume control. Once the relationship gets to this point, you may have become fearful of the abuse escalating.
Barrie Davenport, author of Signs of Emotional Abuse, says many survivors are so overcome by anxiety that they do nothing.

6. You are Criticized Constantly.
Those who verbally mistreat others may have been mistreated during their formative years. If they do not get professional help in timely manner, they often go on to communicate harshly with partners.

7. Your Partner Minimizes the Abusive Behavior.
If you get the courage to point out the bad behavior, your partner may offer excuses or minimize the severity of the behavior.

8. Your Partner is Manipulative.
An emotionally abusive partner will manipulate you in an attempt to get his or her way. You may be pressured to do things you do not want to do. The emotional abuser will try to make you feel guilty or get angry at you for resisting. He or she may also do or say things that cause you to question your perception of reality or your sanity. This is a technique called gas-lighting.

9. You Blame Yourself.
Donoghue-Tamplin says the self-blame is a result of being trained by the abuser to think they are bad or not valuable.

Risk factors for someone being emotionally abusive include: people who have difficulty identifying or communicating their feelings; people who have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and tend to blame others for their problems; people with personality or mood disorders; people with a manipulative or sociopathic style; untreated victims of abuse; and people with addictions who are not getting help, seeking recovery, or addressing the consequences of their behavior. – Cheat Sheet. http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship.html/

What Are Your Choices?
Pray for divine intervention. God wants you to have that which is best for you.
ALE™ Associate, Leave, Educate
Associate with a qualified independent competent mental health professional;
Leave the harmful relationship; or
Educate yourself about the harmful relationship you are in and what you may choose to do about it.
If you choose to stay in your relationship and feel that your issues can be worked out with the help of a mental health professional, one of the first things you will need to do is set boundaries for how you are treated by your partner.
If the behavior continues despite your best efforts, it is time to go.

Qui Tu Es ? Who Are You? Willy William (2016).

 

Devotion, Prayer, Reflection

Footprints in the Sand

Put Down Your Burden

A man driving his pickup truck on a country road saw a woman carrying a heavy load, so he stopped and offered her a lift. The woman expressed her gratitude and climbed into the back of the truck.

A moment later, the man noticed a strange thing. The woman was still holding onto her heavy load despite sitting in the vehicle! Astonished, he pleaded, “Please, Madam, put down your load and take your rest. My truck can carry you and your stuff. Just relax.”

Put Down Your Burden
Put Down Your Burden

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matt. 11:28.

What do we do with the load of fear, worry, and anxiety we often carry as we go through life’s many challenges? Instead of relaxing in the Lord, I sometimes behave like that woman. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28), yet I catch myself carrying burdens I should offload onto Jesus.

We put down our burdens when we bring them to the Lord in prayer. The apostle Peter says, “Cast all your anxiety on Jesus because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. Because He cares for us, we can rest and relax as we learn to trust Him. Instead of carrying the burdens that weigh us down and weary us, we can give them to the Lord and let Him carry them. – Lawrence Darmani. Daily Bread.

Prayer: I am tired, Lord. I bring You my burdens today. Please keep them and carry them for me.

Prayer is the time and place where burdens change shoulders.

Explanation: A yoke pairs two animals together to pull a load. Often an older, stronger, well-trained animal is paired with a younger animal so that the younger can learn the proper method of pulling. It is the older, stronger animal that does the majority of the pulling while the younger follows along and mimics the actions of the older. As we set aside our burdens and take on Christ’s, we are not simply swapping one burden for another. It is His yoke. We set aside our lone burdens to pull with Jesus, who is the one responsible for the direction and primary force of moving the burden. Then each of us, as the younger, weaker, less-experienced partner learns from Jesus how to pull the burden, following His actions and mimicking His footsteps. – Daily Bread.

Footprints in the Sand
Leona Lewis

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

Devotion, Prayer, Reflection

Three Days of Prayer

Three Days of Prayer
Every congregation, member and pastor is being invited to set aside some time each day of January 3, 4 and 5, 2017 for prayer.
Prayer is a gift that God has given to us as a means to approach the throne of grace with confidence, like that of a child coming to her parents sharing concerns, victories, defeats and every part of life. It is an opportunity to express the deepest heartache and the greatest joy. Prayer is a conversation between the Creator and the created … and the conversation began with God, for us, in Christ Jesus. – Rev. Mark Vander Tuig, LCMC Service Coordinator.

LCMC
LCMC

Day 1. January 3rd 2017.

Confession. This is a day focused on confession. We have made our lives, our relationships, and even the church, in our own image. We confess that the church belongs to Jesus and not to us. We gather to lay down our pride, our sin and our agenda and ask the Lord of the church for forgiveness, which He gives freely and with mercy.

Day 2. January 4th 2017.
Petition. This is a day of petition. Pray for your congregation, for the pastor, for the leaders, for those who carry out ministries, for the Sunday School teachers, for the Confirmation leaders, for those leading adult Bible studies and for those leading small groups. Pray for those in hospital and nursing home ministries. Pray for all those connected to your church that they might know God’s redeeming love for all in Christ.

Day 3. January 5th 2017.
Vision. This is a day for vision. Pray that the Holy Spirit will again move through the hearts and minds of leaders and pastors that God’s vision for His church might be revealed and fulfilled. This is a time of prayer for renewal, revival and encouragement. Pray for God’s vision.

C.R., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Seven Reasons We Get Stuck

Seven Reasons We Get Stuck

Celebrate Recovery
Celebrate Recovery

Celebrate Recovery Lesson 25

1. We have not completely worked the previous principle.

– Perhaps we are trying to move through the principles too quickly. Slow down! Give God time to work! Remember, this program is a process.

– “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25.

2. We have not completely surrendered our life and our will to the Lord.

– Perhaps we are trusting Jesus with the “big” things, but we still think we can handle the “small” things.

– “For good judgment and common sense, trust in the Lord completely; don’t ever trust in yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.”  Proverbs 3:5-6.

3. We have not accepted Jesus’ work on the cross for our forgiveness.

– We may have forgiven others, but we think our sin is too big to be forgiven.

– “But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us … from every wrong.” 1 John 1:9.

– “So overflowing is his kindness towards us that he took away all our sins through the blood of his Son, by whom we are saved.” Ephesians 1:7.

– Have you forgiven yourself?

– Remember, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1.

4. We really have not forgiven others who have harmed us.

– We must “let go of the pain of past harm and abuse. Until we are able to release it, forgive it, it will continue to hold us as its prisoner.

– “After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you his eternal glory. He personally will pick you up, and set firmly in place and make you stronger than ever.” 1 Peter 5:10-11.

5. We are afraid of the risk in making the necessary change.

– We may be paralyzed by the fear of failure. We may fear intimacy because of the fear of rejection or of being hurt again. We may resist change (growth) because of the fear of the unknown.

– “Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed … I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10.

– “That is why we can say without any doubt or fear, “The Lord is my Helper and I am not afraid of anything that mere man can do to me.” Hebrews 13:6.

6. We are not willing to “own” our responsibility.

– We need to take responsibility for our past in a broken relationship, a damaged friendship, with a distant child or parent, and so forth.

– “Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover … if there is any evil in me and guide me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139:23.

7. We have not developed an effective support team.

– Do you have a sponsor or an accountability partner? Do you have the phone numbers of others in you small group? Have you volunteered for a commitment to your recovery ministry?

– “Be with wise men and become wise. Be with evil men and become evil.” Proverbs 13:20.

– “Dear brothers, you have been given freedom: not freedom to do wrong, but freedom to love and serve each another.” Galatians 5:13.

– “Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command.” Galatians 6:2.

 

A.A., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

AA Promises

What Are the AA Promises?
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has a set of principles to help alcoholics in recovery become productive members of society. These AA promises derive from Alcoholics Anonymous twelve steps and twelve traditions. Let’s break the AA promises out so they are easier to digest.

The AA Promises:

1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

4. No matter how far down the scale we have gone

5. We will see how our experience can benefit others.

6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

8. Self-seeking will slip away.

9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

AA Promises
AA Promises

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. – Alcoholics Anonymous p. 83-84.

What do the AA Promises mean?

The AA Promises are meant to be a promise for recovery. The AA promises usually begin to come true after an alcoholic has worked through the steps thoroughly and begins to apply them in their life. When it says that they will be “fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” it means that the AA Promises will happen, but the time frame in which they present themselves are different for everyone. The AA promises will always materialize if the alcoholic works for them. This means that if you are working the twelve steps to the best of your ability and are as honest as you can be while working them, you will receive a spiritual awakening or experience, which then leads to a total personality change.

– WaterShed Treatment Programs.
The Promise
David Grover
performed by When in Rome

If you need a friend, don’t look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I’ll always be there.
But when you’re in doubt, and when you’re in danger,
Take a look all around, and I’ll be there.

 

Devotion, Reflection

God Uses a Cracked Pot

God Uses a Cracked Pot

I readily admit and am often reminded that I am less than perfect, a “cracked pot” so to speak. Yet I do my best to pray, listen and act on God’s message. God uses all of His children to make the world He created, our world, a better place. Many of us may be familiar with the story of the “Cracked Pot.” I suggest we take this time to reflect on the story and discern if there is something beautiful we may offer within ourselves to contribute to His kingdom.

Cracked Pot
Cracked Pot

A Water Bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years, this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and one-half pots of water to his master’s house.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the Water Bearer one day by the stream: “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

The Water Bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion, he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again, it apologize to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots.

But if we will allow it, Jesus will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In God’s great economy, nothing goes to waste.

So, as we seek ways to minister together, and as God calls you to tasks He has appointed for you, don’t be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in his pathway.

Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness, we find His strength.

– Lutheran Indian Ministry

N.A., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Acceptance and Change

Acceptance and Change

“Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves.” Page 371.

Basic Text, p.58. Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there’s no chance of becoming the people we’d like to be. That’s when our defense mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite extreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Acceptance
Acceptance

Whether we are longtime NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don’t have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we’ve found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for Today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance needed to change.
– (c) 2016 NA World Services

Changes
David Bowie

 

A.A., Reflection, Spirit on the A's

Rewards of Giving

Rewards of Giving

This is indeed the kind of giving that actually demands nothing. He does not expect his brother sufferer to pay him, or even to love him. Then he discovers that by the divine paradox of this kind of giving he has found his own reward, whether his brother has yet received anything or not. – TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109.

Through experience with Twelfth Step work, I came to understand the rewards of giving that demands nothing in return. At first I expected recovery in others, but I soon learned that this did not happen. Once I acquired the humility to accept the fact that every Twelfth Step call was not going to result in a success, then I was open to receive the rewards of selfless giving. – Daily Reflections © 1990. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services.

A.A. Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Soul Music
Soul Music

The Benedictine Monks suggest that meditating, reflecting, and chanting will make one’s life more complete and assist with the Twelve Steps.

Gregorian Chant
Benedictine Monks

Let’s Learn Gregorian Chant

With or Without You
Gregorian Monks joined by Benedictine Monks